Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
