Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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