addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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