Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
