i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Pants are for mortals
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
