all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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