party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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