just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
