ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
They took my balls.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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