jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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