i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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