Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
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