So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
