i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
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