I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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