We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
