just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize