I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
