Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
