we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Randomize