If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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