was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
My balls are so social today.
im holly from the hills drunk
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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