Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize