you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
