How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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