Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
