Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
