I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
