I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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