You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
