Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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