I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
