Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Randomize
