I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
