I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
