idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
