I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
