i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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