I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Randomize
