Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
