I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
