'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
