This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
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