Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
