i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
