Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
