Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
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We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
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