It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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