Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Randomize
