he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
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Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
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Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
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