Well douche your snatch and let's go!
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
