Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize
