So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Help. Why am I so naked?
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
