My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
