Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
