Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
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