I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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