nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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