I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
