My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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