I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Randomize
