I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
