ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Randomize
