I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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