Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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