I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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