we're chasing vodka with high fives
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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